I know I'm all wrapped up in sweet attrition

I was working for the army of evil... and my squad was stationed at some suburban house. The leader of the squad was this fly... thing. We first went to a warehouse to fight a squad of the forces of good. We ended up getting our asses kicked but suffered no casualties. Back at HQ, the leader was asking why we lost and the other lackeys were like "it's useless", etc. and I suggested that we get a Death Knight (a laWarcraft 3) so that he can heal us (well, those of us who were undead... I was not) and eliminate their advantage (which was healing). So the fly summons a death knight the next night, and I was in the van with my bag, which I knew had everything I cared about. Then I overheard some lackeys arguing with the death knight outside. Apparently, the death knight wanted to leave his horse here but the lackeys thought he should take it with him. Realizing that this death knight is retarded, I exited the van and watched it drive off.

I hung around the house for a while, and at some point I felt a fly zip into my eye, underneath my eyelid. Annoyed, and perhaps not thinking it through, I started squeezing it (while it was still under my eyelid). It was impressively hard to squish, which was when I realized the fly was really the leader guy, so I squeezed harder and he was squashed. Trying not to think about what that's going to do to my eye, I proceeded to hang around the house.

I was all worried that I had left my bag o' everything in the van, but then I found it by the computer. I was just chilling at the computer, deciding to leave the army of evil, when three of the lackeys unexpectedly made it back from the assault. One of them had a hand grenade launcher, and I immediately knew he was coming to get me. I grabbed my bag and ran for the back room (this is where my adrenaline started pumping), and I opened the window... except it was those stupid three layered windows. The window, the easy-open mesh, and a mesh that was glued on. I manage to rip the top and bottom of the glued mesh but I couldn't get the middle and the guy was so close to the house. I struggled with all my might and dove out the window just in time. Then I woke up.