Friday, May 27, 2005

there's nobody around for miles

The nature of internet journals, personal webpages, and the like are intriguing to me. I guess I'm metablogging this in some way, but I'm sure it's been done a few million times already. Society has gotten to the point where our validation comes from these utilities.

It is a natural and effective progression in the evolution of human needs. We need to be validated, and we need people to be witnesses to our lives in order for that to happen. Computers has made that relation more efficient. No longer are those two acts coupled tightly and inseperable. They have provided a layer in between the need and the witness. Now, I can post something and feel validated, while someone may or may not witness it at their own convenience. None of this "getting together" stuff.

For example, Linda uses her journal to convey her cleverness to validate her identity. Acceptable. People read it, they respond, they care - whatever, but it has nothing to do with how clever she feels when logging her thoughts. Ellen's new website (which is what triggered this line of thought) is great. I like reading about her in a format that is convenient to me. It carries tons of personal facts that encapsulate her identity and existence. Yay for her. I use this blog as a way to force myself to write, even though sometimes I wish someone would read it, so that my validation would be authentic.

Sometimes, like this post here, I catch myself writing to a non-existent audience. Sometimes I catch myself bringing up this blog to someone - just a casual throw into a conversation, but no one asks to read it. It's just as well, for they may get bored quickly.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

i guess you caught me lying to myself

Do you know how much you scare me when you tell me you may no longer love us
the tremors shake loose
the debris; my adhesive
is not as strong as you.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

It's all in my head but she's touching his chest

Nads read me a couple of chapters of some book that deals with past life regression. I think this may be something I'd like to do... someday. Go under hypnosis, that is. It's got me thinking a lot. For example, of all the people that we know, what ratio are simply people we knew in a past life and our souls searched each other out?

And what about my immigration to Canada? What if that was just my poor lost soul reincarnated in the wrong place, and searched out my past life-mates over in Canada? I wonder if I knew the gang in a past life, and if something can explain my constant sense of rejection from them.

I mean, there are not very many people I can talk to. I listen to them attentively, but I usually can't remember a thing they've said afterwards. I'm very interested as they speak, too, but I guess it's all discarded away as inconsequential. But the gang... I could listen to them talk all day. About nothing, about Tekken, Magic, Linda's job... it doesn't matter. Maybe we died together, some place, some time.

Monday, May 09, 2005

You are my candy girl, and you got me wanting you

The weather is finally turning out nicely. I hate everyone.