Looking over your shoulder, so you'll see I'm there

I am at a critical stage. I want to be certified next week. I still need to get my Shuffle fixed. It's also the time of year when I want stuff. I want to subscribe to the NHL Network. I want to subscribe to Pandora. I wanted to see Jakalope in concert. I think I will steel my will and get non of these.

Mark has a job, which is terrific, even though the company he's working for is sucky. He seems a bit happier since, and his proximity to Linda probably helps. They're hanging out again and seem happier for doing so. Less importantly, I've been pushed into obscurity once again (<-- this could be paranoia). I don't want to sound like a kid dealing with less attention. I never had much attention.

Jen is doing this big presentation for some conference. It sounds really exciting and I wish I could go to watch her. I'll probably start hollering inappropriate things though like "wooooooh!" or "Moncton Zombieeees for Life!".

I'm so occupied developing at work these days that I'm worried I'm not doing enough of my managerial duties correctly. I certainly screwed up when I was late for a one on one meeting with the new CEO... man am I dumb. He's a hard person to read as he doesn't smile alot, but he seems like a cool enough guy and certainly very capable. I've been sucked into hawWoWe'en

Let's see you dance, sucka, you ain't got nuthin' on me

So, the best thing ever:

http://www.pandora.com

Also good:

http://images.southparkstudios.com/media/sounds/805/DANCESUCKA.wav

In other news, I went to a David Usher concert on Wednesday, by some lucky double-edged serendipity (Richard was too sick to go and Jen did not want to go without him). It was rockin'. Mr. Usher is quite charismatic, and I understand he's eye candy as well, so the crowd was screaming "take it off!" sporadically. He had a chat with us. He sang a bit in Thai. He's very talented. Oh, and the violinist, Lindsey, is kinda hot.

Mark made an interesting observation when we were there... the David Usher crowd is not the usual 15-20 crowd at the concerts that we like. These were all older people... I wonder why. The Phoenix Concert Theatre may just be a place that attracts adults? I have no clue, but it did seem like I was one of the youngest people there.

However, the most extraordinary experience happened after the concert. I was waiting for my bus at Broadview station, when some old lady came to sat down beside me. My mistake, I'm told, is that I make eye contact, and I did accidentally do that. But I looked away really fast. Anyway, I'm looking the other way and trying not to pay attention to her, then she says, directly to me: "I'm the only white person here." I was quite disturbed by this observation, since there were two white people standing right in front of us. I pointed to them and said, "What about those people?" She said something dismissive like "yeah, right" and shook her head, and then proceeded to tell me, for about 15 minutes, about how sad she is and she doesn't know what's happening to this country. She was crying and seemed genuinely upset, so feeling a little sympathy for this racist I sat there and listened. She seemed heartbroken by some event that caused her to drink this night (her breath reeked of it), something about her son avoiding some native film festival. She is native, you see (she told me about 5 dozen times). She also mentioned her daughter, and tried to pawn her off on me until she found out I was married. She told me she's not racist, and that she's usually a very nice person and lets travelling freeloaders stay in her house and she's going for hurricane relief training next week. She seemed to think that it was the most surprising thing ever that I've been in Canada for 18 years. I didn't have the soft look in my face, she said. Eventually (it seemed longer than usual), the bus came, I arose to get in, and seeing that she didn't get up, I felt bad and turned around and said "bye". Then I sat on the bus, and saw that she got on a bit later, sitting somewhere in the back. I tried to ignore her mostly, feeling guilty about not going over and talking to her, since she cried the entire time. About ten minutes into the bus ride, while the bus was stopped at a red light, she tossed a ring at me (I was shocked and just reflexively caught it) and said, "Here, give it to your wife or something", and then proceeded to throw some tantrum including some expletives at the bus driver to let her off, and how she can't take this anymore, and something about the country maybe, and then exited the bus.

I'm not sure if I should exactly qualify her as crazy, but I have no idea what else to say about her. She was clearly distressed, and I couldn't provide any comfort, probably because I was in so much discomfort and partly because she was ranting about immigrants, a group to which I belong. It was just extremely weird, and some more guilt was attached to the fact that I got some material gain out of the exchange. For what reason? I have no idea.

My heart is yours to fill or burst

Edit: Here is a good example of irony.
http://www.snopes.com/humor/mediagoofs/sixpence.asp

I'm drowning in the spicy juice of vindication.

One of my pet peeves is that the average person misuses the word irony. They simply don't know what it means, and popular media propogates its misuse. Simply put, people have no idea what irony is. Of course, I have always used Alanis Morissette's ever popular song, Ironic, to demonstrate my point. Most of the situations she describes are not ironic. Rain on your wedding day? That's unfortunate. Bad planning - maybe. Ironic? No. Good advice you just didn't take? That's just stupidity, or maybe stubbornness. Once again: not ironic.

Recently, Sabrina notified me of this anecdote (I'm paraphrasing):

She was sitting near a class that was just beginning, and it turned out to be an English class. The prof began the lecture by playing Ms. Morissette's Ironic. After the song was done playing, the prof told the students to go home and rewrite the song so that the situations are actually ironic.

Something came to me though. What if the irony of the song is the title? I started thinking about it, and I decided that Alanis just wasn't that smart. And some lyrics in the song support that... "Isn't it ironic/Yeah I really do think". Plus, there's nothing to suggest that she was playing a clever prank on the listener.

Don't misunderstand - irony is a hard concept to explain. Don't misuse it if you don't know, though. It was explained to me by one of my english teachers/professors as:

The perfect inversion to what one would expect.

I will illustrate (this isn't the best example - it's hard to create irony, which is what makes it so great):

Someone walks into an Adult Video store, and later walks out with only a Pixar video.

He moves in circles of friends who just pretend that they like him

This just in:

liquids help you get over sicknesses faster.

I was at the worst of it last night... I couldn't eat, so I resolved to do the only thing I could: drink. I downed almost a litre of delicious chicken broth (thanks to Nads), and just pretty much drank non-stop until I was full. Then, every time after room was cleared, I'd drink two more glasses of liquid. Any liquid. Nads was very helpful during this whole thing and took care of my every need. The downside of this strategy is that nature called about once every hour and a half to two hours. And during the night, I would not wake up until I had to go badly. It was all worth it though! Stupid sickness! Take that!

All those dirty words, they make us look so dumb

My total lack of self-awareness was my undoing again last night. I don't understand how my guard comes down.... I only wish they had told me that I act like a total ass when I play Settlers previously, for I surely would've said "no, remember, I'm an asshole when I play Settlers so we shouldn't play". I am so ashamed... I did not realize that Settlers just wasn't one of those games where you can be vindictive... maybe I've played too much wrestling. I'm not sure what I should've done at that point. Nothing I could've done would've had any impact on the rest of the game. I think I'm just supposed to sit there, roll the dice, collect my resources and just wait for the end.

It was enough to bother me. I tossed and turned over it the entire night... I must've had about 2 hours of sleep. What was weird was that as I thought more and became more ashamed and angry at myself, I started coughing... and coughing. Throughout the night I couldn't stop coughing any more than I could stop thinking about it. Some kind of powerful psychosomatic symptom? I'm a little sick now.

The second blunder, which also shames me, is that I had not thought to invite Linda into the fantasy hockey league. I really had not even considered that she would be interested... she just wasn't that big a hockey fan, I thought. I should really ask anyway. I mean, I did ask Richard anyway... what the hell...

All in all it was pretty much the crappiest night in a long time, as the Leafs lost in a shootout to Ottawa again. Being temporarily first in the pool is of very minor comfort.

I fell out of bed laced with spit and sweat

It has been a marvellous week. I've wanted to post here since Tuesday, but I just somehow never got around to it. It's not like my days and nights were jammed pack. It was just one of those things that time hides from you.

Monday night was quite the adventure. After having dinner at Jack Astor's, we drove to Peterborough to have cake chez Mark's mom (did I mention she is a nice lady?), and a bottle of wine later we were at E-LAN. I got destroyed at UT2004 as usual, and even finished last a few rounds despite Chris not having played the game before. Yeah.... yeah. Anyway, it was fun times and I can't believe the madness of the plan, on a work night. I had some foresight despite not knowing the plan and took Tuesday off.

My presents from the gang were pretty spectacular. They got me a bunch of random stuff from the dollar store: Tic Tacs (my breath smells?), a coiling snake, classic bazooka gum, a pumpkin doll, a bingo marker, a 2005 Orlando Bloom calendar, a flower doll... I may be missing something, but if I am, it's only because it's so completely random and I don't have them in front of me. In addition (as if that wasn't enough), Richard made me a CD entitled "D-Day", which has a lot of my current favourite songs on it. We listened to it on the drive to Peterborough and it was rockin'! What really amazes me is that he managed to remember me mentioning all these songs... often I would just ask him what the song/band was that sings the song with such and such lyrics. The joys of a Shuffle. It was touching. He also gave me UT2004, which I still suck at a few days later. Mark got me a Naruto poster of Haku and Zabusa, and a deck of Naruto cards. I don't have much of a chance to play with cards but they are fun to look at. Haku is the bestest and I'm still deciding where to put the poster... I think my office will be the best place. Linda had not ordered the tshirt she was going to get me, but she made this little paper proxy of me, complete with the chin scar and heart-mom tattoo, with a paper shirt. She was going to get me the "Jesus is f***ing metal" shirt, which I must admit is pretty awesome, but she was afraid that Nads would be offended by me wearing it (which is likely), so she's getting me the "Rogues do it from behind" one instead, which is also the awesome. Also, Linda always seems to get me a nice card for every occassion.

That just gave me an idea: Smack-talking cards. "Sorry I pwned you in UT2004. I hope you get well soon."

Chris got me NHL 2k6 for the PS2! I drafted my fantasy Leafs franchise (led by Iggy). The game has quite a few interesting improvements that make it more fun and realistic than previous years. I recommend it to all hockey fans. Nads, as usual, got me something even though I specifically told her not to get me anything, since I've combined several of my upcoming and previous presents into the LCD monitor that I got. She got me the Tori Amos diary/biography/collaboration thing with some journalist. I haven't paid attention to Tori (I'm a bad fan!) in much too long, even though I still think her songs are awesome and she has very intelligent lyrics. All in all it was good times.

Tuesday I stayed home and chillax'd (sp?) and played around with my presents. Wednesday I celebrated with the NHL... poor Leafs. It looks like I will be heartbroken this year. Thursday my mom took me out to dinner at China Buffet King. Of course, my mom's friend Amy was there to serve us. She's a nice lady as well... very chinese. She gave us these vouchers that took $13 off the meal. She got me a job at the China Buffet King up north when I was a teen as a bus boy, and I always wonder how much she had to look out for me. I didn't do a very good job... I wasn't a very good bus boy at all. I wonder about the other staff too... if they were all looking out for me because I was a kid of a friend of a co-worker, or whatever. I wonder about the kindness that got me here.