"Keep looking a the bright side", but that just hurts my eyes

I often think of property or phenomenon, and then wonder if it's the same for other people. For example, I don't think much at all about my own birthday, safety, health, or any of that... but I really care about other peoples'. I'm sure it's some manifestation of a serious self-esteem issue, but at some level I know I think it's just more noble to care for others rather than yourself.

That's not to say that I spend all my time caring for others... or even most. It's just my frame of mind. I would not die to save myself, but almost anyone else? Sure. Also, I can't seem to display this desire for nobility in person... it seems easier to be difficult. Do I really desire it, then?

It's also a pretty handy shield at times. For example, if someone forgets my birthday, or does not come to a celebration of it, then I can deflect any hurt or resentment to the fact that it's just not important. And I can ask myself things like, "why should it be important to them?", and of course I have no answer, and that would be that. I also can't help but to ponder the meaning of such actions. It doesn't mean anything. Everyone falls the first time.

'Till the words flow like the pros

I know the trick to dealing with people. I say trick not because anyone should use this information to manipulate (although I'm sure people do), but a trick in the sense that it's not obvious. I guess it's more like a secret, although that word implies that people are actively trying to keep it hidden, and that's no good either. How much time do I spend analyzing the correct word for things? Ineffable.

Anyway, the secret is to acknowledge that this person that you're talking to has overcome some amount of trauma, in tact, and emerged better. I think, in some way, that at least most people want people to acknowledge that. They want people to know what kinds of horrors and difficulties they faced, and how they managed to come out of it a much smarter, wiser, or stronger person. And everyone has difficulties. I love to learn of the struggles of other people... maybe for this reason. It garners at least a modicum of respect when someone has struggled through something.

Linda may be coming home early. That will be fantastic. I feel a bit guilty that I hadn't written a letter to her like I was meaning to, or send her a postcard of Toronto for laughs. I'm dreaming up other schemes, but who knows what will happen to them. Her postcard put a smile on my face, as always.

Things seem to be ok... hockey has started and my heart bubbles with hope that the Leafs will win it all! Oh.. and Kyle Wellwood (AKA Frodo) will win the Hart and the Conn Smythe.