I'm not an addict, maybe that's a lie

This is the eve of the birth of baby Jasmine. I've already started referring to her as Jas in various communications, accepted as part of my forthcoming reality. There wasn't this shock of "zomg, i'm becoming a dad". Feelings like that do not really penetrate into my consciousness.

Instead, last night I was faced with a rather tough question that involved some introspection, as some tough questions do:

How much do I want Jas to be like me?

It is no secret that I am not my biggest fan. I feel that is justified, for I know much better people, and people who are better at everything, and... well, enough of that. The important thing is that, despite that, I think I do have some good qualities, and which of those do I want Jasmine to take on? But even beyond qualities, are there habits I want or do not want her to pick up? Let me consider.

Frugality: I think I'm pretty good with money. I do not spend a lot, and I value pretty much everything. I am not afraid of money problems and I can deal with them directly. I can be rather lax about money with my friends though. In this particular aspect, I think what would be best for Jas is if she does not gimp herself to save money like I do. She should enjoy her life to her full enjoyment, and let me be frugal for her to do so! But I would still like her to understand and be able to plan finances.

Pleasing People: Yes, I do try to please everyone and accommodate everyone. This has some advantages, as I never get into a mode that's way too selfish (at least, I think), but of course this means that I am pretty upset when I can't please someone. I'd probably want her to have a modicum of this, but I want her to be more sensible about it.

Technology: I'm pretty crippled without it. It's a weird feeling... I just don't like being offline. I never talk to people on the phone. I am comfortable with the layer of separation between me and the other party, so that if I start being boring, it is easy for them to ignore me. I certainly would not like Jasmine to inherit this. I want her to be tech-savvy and a cool gaming girl, but what I do is pretty unhealthy. I will not let the computer or a TV babysit her. I promise this.

At this point, I'm thinking this task is much larger than I originally thought. I probably have traits that I'm not even aware of. And I apologize now for passing down any that you dislike, Jas.

Shot through the heart

Lyrics are a tricky thing. The simplest way to describe them would be poetry put to music, so I treat them with the same scrutiny that I do with poems. Of course, there is the one conditional component: the words and music can match so perfectly that it doesn't matter if the words count as good poetry.

So what makes a good poem? The most obvious trait would be that it is revealing. It grants you an epiphany, or it makes you think about something. Another criterion is to make you feel something, which is a very common goal in all kinds of art. But the hardest thing to master about writing good poetry, and the thing that makes it the most interesting, is simply this: Show, don't tell. If a song can't achieve this (most people are not good poets), then I will settle for some subtlety.

And in the very of spirit of showing, I will provide some examples of what I consider good lyrics and bad lyrics. Starting with the bad:


You drive me crazy
I just can't sleep
I'm so excited, I'm in too deep
Ohh...crazy, but it feels all right
Baby, thinkin' of you keeps me up all night

- "Crazy", Britney Spears


Why did I pick Ms. Spears? Because I like hollow victories. And kicking a girl when she's down. Also, her lyrics (as with most pop artists) suck. So what's wrong with these lyrics? They pound the emotion in your face. There's no detective work to be done. I feel A, I'm B, You do C to me. Done. Over. What else is there? It may make people feel something, but I have no idea. But all it does is tell me stuff.

Now for a good example:


I once knew a pair that used to fit very tight
But now a man standing tall in the wake of this night
His eyes are watering in anger at the thought of her sight
The scene of adultery sets the stage for his plight

- "People of the Sky", Sloan


Why did I pick Sloan? Cause they rock. Cause they are entertaining live. Oh, and they write good lyrics. In this opening verse alone, there are very many questions you could ask or scenarios you can wonder about. It gives you just enough information to entice you to listen further. What happened on this night? "Sets the stage for his plight" implies that the "scene of adultery" isn't his plight... what's next for this guy? It invokes more emotion than the Spears lyric, strangely enough, even though it's less personal as it's a third person account. This is due to the Showing: His eyes are watering in anger (he is not simply angry), and we know that what he has lost was once valuable (they used to fit very tight). Just the atmosphere set by the description "in the wake of this night" is interesting.

I understand that some people may actually like the Spears lyric better. But they'd be wrong. Or maybe you don't like the Sloan lyric. But comparing these two is like comparing raw teenage poetry and a masterpiece, because the difference to me is so glaring. Amateur poetry is often tough to read simply because they don't follow this principle. It becomes this session of hearing someone complain (and it's not someone you care about). I will leave off with another good (I think it's good anyway) example:


Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now

- "Mr. Brightside", The Killers


This time I chose a pretty mainstream song. It's a ridiculously rocking tune, but the lyrics make it even better. The interesting part of this verse is "and it's all in my head". How much of what he has said is in his head? Is it all made up? I think that the part that's in his head is after she leaves him, between lines two and three. Between lines. The very fact that it's making me literally read between the lines produces some enjoyment. Also, it would seem that if she is returning to this other man, then that makes the narrator "the other man"? The perspective of the other man is interesting to me, and I had never taken much time to consider that they may get jealous. Another interesting thing is that he imagines them being intimate the way they are (presumably) intimate - but can this other relationship be that great if she's sneaking off to see the narrator?

And really, this is what's great about the "show, don't tell" principle: other people can read these verses completely differently and have a different understanding of them. I love to hear other people's interpretations of literature. In the Spears lyric, there's not much to discuss and not much to wonder about, and that makes it very, very dull.