Take my photo off the wall if it just won't sing for you

Played tons of Half-Life:Source today. Yes, I've never played the original all the way through so I'm going back. The good news is Source has better graphics and I can turn the settings all the way up, whereas when it was first release I woke up extra early and huddled in front of Mark's computer to experience what would be the best game of that year, and some claim ever. After about four hours of play, I'm at the part I was when I left off at his house. I can't believe I played four hours there.

A new query in life: Can relationships (not just between lovers) survive without tradition? Lately I've been trying to piece together a tradition that the original Gang of Four (oh, Java joke!) has, and I've come up empty. It's shameful to think about them in this light, but interlopers have changed, mixed, added to our traditions and now we have nothing. Certainly, I don't mind new people and I accept them fully, and I really like them to boot. But there's always been a desire (within me) to stay really close to the GoF, and that just doesn't happen with a larger group. It can't happen. I think about Ottawa, and how much fun it was last year. I seriously doubt we will go this year, and if we do go it will likely include Chris and Tim. Will we then get seperate rooms? Is it even tradition after only one year? It is obvious that tradition keeps relations and families together... but does not A imply not B?

Cause love's such an old-fashioned word

I am Jack's chest cold.

My mom worries me to no end these days. Everytime I meet her she starts bawling her eyes out about how negligent I am in my filial duties. She thinks Nads disrepects her and is avoiding her (the latter is true). Her closest friends (my godmother amoung them) have abandoned her... though she claims that she does not want to contact them. She feels slighted, and I can't tell if it's imagined or not. All I can tell is that I cannot forgive them for not being kind to her, even if they are right to do so. If they abandon my mother then they will have nothing to do with me, either. Many days I get scared when the phone rings. I fear it is someone telling me she has killed herself. I imagine I would be shocked, cry from a mix of grief and relief, and feel guilty the rest of my life. Nads won't help me.

On to happier news, my Christmas loot from the gang include: Civ IV SE (from Chris), Half-Life 2 and a t-shirt (from Richard), a really cool electronic top (from Linda), and "The Wind-up Bird Chronicle" (from Mark). Civ IV is the best game ever and the top is awesome, and I'm pretty sure I'll like Half-Life 2 and the book even though I have yet to experience them. As I was explaining to my co-worker, Christmas is now pretty much over for me, as far as gifts go. I'll get more gifts from my in-laws, but the really cool gifts that I know I'll love come from the gang. In-laws get you the necessities like sweaters and other clothing, which is good too, but it's hard to be excited about it. I also feel really terrible that Chris spent so much on my gift and I only got him one Doctor Who DVD... had I but known beforehand! Also it was a bit awkward that Richard and I together got Mark a Civ IV SE but Chris seemed to find it cheaply at Best Buy. I mean, it's not definitely not his fault and I am glad he is in such a spirit of giving, and I certainly don't mind scoring Civ IV SE, but I wish I had more money to reciprocate the kindness.

In either case, hopefully I can repay him with a contract opportunity at work. The prospect of working with a close friend worries me a little bit, but I'm excited. Fun times at work!

Somebody get insurance, to take good care of me

Karli got me Action Pact and Pretty Together for Christmas. What a gal! I feel so bad that I didn't know so I did not get her anything. Christmas always brings up these kinds of issues. I don't really know who to get gifts for. I just thank the gods that Nads handles all of her family's gifting. I pondered getting gifts for my lackeys, but I don't really know what they like... except David likes chess, Peter likes hockey/football, and... maybe I should get Muhammad something to do with software development? All I know is that I wouldn't feel right giving any of them anything unless I can give them all something.

I'm pretty excited about giving gifts to the gang, though. As usual I am ultra paranoid that they won't like it. Except Mark. I'm positive he'll like his present.... oh, and Chris too.

I think my connection with Nads is deepening.

On an unrelated note, we watched three movies this weekend: Memoirs of a Geisha, City Hunter, and 40-Year Old Virgin. MoaG wasn't as terrible as expected, but it was still pretty horrible. The more I think about it, the more I dislike it. I mean, who cares what happens to the protagonist? She was not a good person, and the only reason we were supposed to root for her was because she had a hard childhood? Please. I did like the wily, greedy Mother though. I think the acting was good, but I was constantly distracted by the fact that the film was not in Japanese. City Hunter was a little better, and they did manage to recreate a wacky anime feel, but overall it was just a bit too much consecutive silliness. The Street Fighter 2 part of the movie was amusing though. The 40-Year Old Virgin was mildly amusing. There were bits of clever dialogue here and there, but if you haven't seen it you're not missing much. It's pretty much your standard romance/comedy: protagonist has an embarassing secret that he's not sure his object of affection will accept, lets it insidiously ruin the perfect relationship, and then reveals it for happily ever after. I will give it credit, though: I have never seen such accurate portrayals of boners in a feature length film.