All those dirty words, they make us look so dumb

My total lack of self-awareness was my undoing again last night. I don't understand how my guard comes down.... I only wish they had told me that I act like a total ass when I play Settlers previously, for I surely would've said "no, remember, I'm an asshole when I play Settlers so we shouldn't play". I am so ashamed... I did not realize that Settlers just wasn't one of those games where you can be vindictive... maybe I've played too much wrestling. I'm not sure what I should've done at that point. Nothing I could've done would've had any impact on the rest of the game. I think I'm just supposed to sit there, roll the dice, collect my resources and just wait for the end.

It was enough to bother me. I tossed and turned over it the entire night... I must've had about 2 hours of sleep. What was weird was that as I thought more and became more ashamed and angry at myself, I started coughing... and coughing. Throughout the night I couldn't stop coughing any more than I could stop thinking about it. Some kind of powerful psychosomatic symptom? I'm a little sick now.

The second blunder, which also shames me, is that I had not thought to invite Linda into the fantasy hockey league. I really had not even considered that she would be interested... she just wasn't that big a hockey fan, I thought. I should really ask anyway. I mean, I did ask Richard anyway... what the hell...

All in all it was pretty much the crappiest night in a long time, as the Leafs lost in a shootout to Ottawa again. Being temporarily first in the pool is of very minor comfort.