you make me hard, when i'm all soft inside

I don't know why I start off all these entries with Linda, except that her livejournal inspires me to write here. It reminds me that I should probably keep this minor commitment, even if it's only to myself.

Her latest journal entry astounds me. Her feelings for her nanny unfortunately reflects my feelings for her. I wrote as much to her in the little note with the groomsmen gift I gave her, but I wonder if she's made the connection. If I never made the effort to see her or talk to her, she would never raise a finger to stop me from disappearing from her life. Maybe her nanny is why.

It makes me so sad. How do I express that I'm unimportant without sounding whiny? I don't know. It's just true.

Today one of my contacts bore a small hole and I went with one contact for a while. It was really hard to focus or think with one contact. Luckily, Keith is the greatest guy in the world and drove me home at lunch to pick up another one.

I often consider how I got to be the way I am. I seem to know some things about being diplomatic around the office, but I'm not sure how. More on this later.