I want what I want

Last night my nephews-in-law came over. I don't understand how anyone has the energy to deal with kids. They were quite adorable and curious about everything, but you can't really reason with them. And they were loud. The older one, Demetri, is beginning to be reasonable in that he's willing to do things he's told. But the younger one, Tristan, is totally beyond my capacity to understand. Except that he loves things that bang and make noise.

Sometimes I feel like I don't belong in this world. All I want to do is trust things and believe things, but things just can't be trusted or believed. Or people. But I will trust and believe them anyway, I think I always will, because I don't want to live in suspicion, and I think that is exactly the kind of attitude that replicates itself in others. I like to believe that if I am open and honest about everything that people will operate in kind when dealing with me. My faith is faltering.

Do my friends think I'm a liar? Maybe.. they joke about it.. I like to make stuff up about casual things or facts. Never anything about anyone else. It just hurts all that much more when I'm treated like I would lie, I guess... I always think that is an asset of mine.

Today my friend Mark (fondly referred to as Nazi Mark) came over and we played tons of Tekken Tag and Ikaruga. If anyone has beaten this game in 2p mode PLEASE let me know. It is soooo impossible. It took us 3 hours and 6 credits to make it to stage 4.