"Keep looking a the bright side", but that just hurts my eyes

I often think of property or phenomenon, and then wonder if it's the same for other people. For example, I don't think much at all about my own birthday, safety, health, or any of that... but I really care about other peoples'. I'm sure it's some manifestation of a serious self-esteem issue, but at some level I know I think it's just more noble to care for others rather than yourself.

That's not to say that I spend all my time caring for others... or even most. It's just my frame of mind. I would not die to save myself, but almost anyone else? Sure. Also, I can't seem to display this desire for nobility in person... it seems easier to be difficult. Do I really desire it, then?

It's also a pretty handy shield at times. For example, if someone forgets my birthday, or does not come to a celebration of it, then I can deflect any hurt or resentment to the fact that it's just not important. And I can ask myself things like, "why should it be important to them?", and of course I have no answer, and that would be that. I also can't help but to ponder the meaning of such actions. It doesn't mean anything. Everyone falls the first time.